Adam Ferrone (L) and Pat Murphy.

Hawk Talk Football 2005    Pat Murphy and Adam Ferrone are students at St. Joseph's Prep with an interest in writing. They have already written for the school paper and now are taking the plunge with our colorful crew. We welcome them. They'll mostly collaborate. When they don't, we'll ask them to be specific (ha ha).    Please contact Pat via e-mail at StAsTE456@aol.com or AOL instant message at pmurph1287.   And Adam's e-mail is freefallin39@hotmail.com

DEC. 3
CATHOLIC RED FINAL
SJ Prep 41, O'Hara 7
   The big day had finally come. The team packed into the buzzing locker room early Saturday morning with excitement drawn all over their faces. It was the annual Secret Santa handoff, and the players and coaches were eating it up. They had all drawn names of their teammates out of Matt Leddy’s skullcap, and the concealed identities of their givers were about to be revealed. Hors d'oeuvres were prepared by Margaret Bradley, mother of Ryan and Mike, who neglected sending her boys lunches all week to prepare for the special day. As they slopped eggnog, the players clamored over each other to hand out the gifts they had so carefully selected to their pollyanna partners. Some of the highlights of the gift swap were more exciting than those of the game itself. Jim Dunn was ecstatic about the threads he received from fellow Offensive lineman John Gazzola. “Gazzy! How did you know?!?” Indeed, John had picked out the exact pullover from the Lands End winter catalog that Dunn had been lusting over for weeks. “Mom, look! It’s that fleece with alternating stripes of rusticated quail and misty taupe I was telling you about,” he exclaimed. Ryan Malarick was tickled over the new iFeel Massage Wand from the Sharper Image given to him by lineman Dave LaPera. “The first thing I did was call my masseuse, Tom "Piano Fingers” Kane, to tell him his services were no longer necessary.”  An unshakeable grin was pinned to assistant coach Joe “Tauer of Pauer” Bauer’s face after he ripped the wrapping paper off of the box of popsicle sticks and model airplane glue. Bauer will be able to crown the popsicle stick town he is building in his basement with a four foot high City Hall building. “This is neat because originally I started the village while I was working as a service corps teacher…” he began, but everyone walked away.
   It was not all giggles, however, as some members of the team could not escape being disappointed with their gifts. Eddie Turner pointed out that he already had two copies of the CD “Yani, Live at the Acropolis” before being rewarded the same thing by Jim McKenzie. John Shaw, who received two boxes of White Castle cheeseburgers from Steve Schell, was heard grumbling “I don’t even eat bread, burgers or cheese. Some castle…”  The most disappointed of all, however, was Billy Edger, who received nothing. Team correspondent Joe Hurley had clearly drawn Edger, but when asked about the lack of a gift he responded, "I would have given him a few more points if I could have. Kid got outscored by his little brother. I’m sorry I don’t reward losers— how’s his girlfriend doing though?” QB Chris Whitney was lucky enough to select Coach Gil Brooks, and told his coach that he had gotten him the best gift of all. As Gil leaned in for the kiss, Chris said, “Whoa, whoa, I meant a PCL title.” Whitney was able to come through on this gift, as he rewarded his coach a championship win, conquering the Lions of O’Hara, 41-7, on Saturday night at Northeast’s Charlie Martin Memorial Stadium. All week the player’s referred to the game as “One Last Party”. Cue the music.
   The game did not start out as planned, as O’Hara jumped out to a 7 point lead with the first touchdown, as FB Joe Juisti perfected his tuck and roll technique (he tucks his head between his legs and rolls into the end zone like a bowling ball). The O’Hara players and fans began to unsheathe their victory cigars, until someone mentioned that it was only the first quarter, which didn’t stop the Lions from having T-shirts made up (courtesy of Springfield Shirts) that read “Catholic League First Quarter Champions”. The Hawks answered back, capitalizing on a muffed punt by the usually sure-handed Harry “These Good Looks Ain’t No Fluke” Duke. The drive ended with a one-yard plunge from Jamir Livingston for the score. Jamir had promised touchdowns to four of his “shawties” -- Laquisha, Shaniqua, Latoya and Catherine Elizabeth (“cause you know she my favorite white girl, right?”). It would be a steep task to punch it in four times against the daunted O’Hara defense, but Jamir seemed blasé about it saying, “I’m down with the hunny pots, ya dig? And if I can get a few numbers while I’m at it, so be it. Jamir doesn’t hate when Jamir gets digits.”
   While the offense was more than efficient Saturday night, the passing game took a backburner to the run. A cause for the lack of passing productivity may have also been due to the focus on the kicking game during practice all week. “The passing game is important, don’t get me wrong,” said Chris “The Kansas Kannon” Whitney “but I spent most of the week working with the field goal unit, I mean, have you seen it lately? In all seriousness though, Tim and I could be the greatest holder/kicker combo ever with a little work. He’s my best friend in the world.” Chris had not realized, however, that Billy Edger had been behind him the entire time, and fled off to a bathroom stall to weep next to Matt Cavanaugh. The duo lived up to the hype as Timmy banged a 24-yard field goal through the uprights putting the Hawks up 10-7 and soaring into halftime.
   As I was walking by the O’Hara sideline at halftime I noticed former O’H standouts Sean Barksdale and Steve Cook snuggling up in the frigid bleachers. As I passed I overheard the two playfully sparring: “Seany, stop rubbing my thighs,” giggled Cook, “you know I’m ticklish”. I then ran into Brian Giacobetti, the Lions’ safety from last year. I asked him what he thought about the game to which he responded, “Oh, I don’t know I haven’t been watching much of it. Me and the guys spent most of the first half re-analyzing last year’s championship game on my portable TV. That was so freakin’ awesome." I was also able to get a hold of O'Hara coach Dan “The Builder” Algeo on his way into the locker room and asked him the same question to which HE responded, “I don’t know. I haven’t been watching much of it. Did you know Giac’s got last year’s game on his portable TV? Man, that was amazing, I’ll catch you guys later.”
   Mike Wallace, the Prep’s mascot, also performed his rendition of the Braveheart speech at halftime -- as usual, thrilling. Mike comes from an appropriate background to hold the mascot position because his father was William Wallace and his mother was an actual Hawk. I also received detention from Dean Scott Mullen at halftime, which I didn’t even know was possible, for using some colorful language in order to fire up the Hawks faithful. Mullen, on strict orders from Principal Father Tom Clifford, struck down this act of Prep Pride.
   The second half was dominated by the Prep, as running back Jamir Livingston was quick to score again putting the Crimson and Gray up 17-7. On both sides of the ball the Prep was as mistake-free as John Shaw in a spelling bee. By this point, O’Hara linebacker Greg Smith was so upset and convinced that the game was over, that he rushed home to soak his Myspace with a tearful diatribe against the Prep. Tim Edger kicked another field goal, this time checking in from 32 yards, and pushed the score to comfortable 13-point lead. This is where the defense locked down, suffocating the Lions' offense. Cornerback Dave Clement was fantastic, as he held whomever he covered to minimal yardage. Some readers might wonder why Clement was so infrequently quoted in Hawk Talk, but that is merely because he speaks in Shakespearian tongue and he is damned near impossible to understand. Since it is the last article, it seems appropriate to give Dave his due. As said to me by Dave: “I say ye scribe, take note of mine upcoming utterance. For on this day we shall slay Lions not unlike the glorious morn upon which the great Sir Uther Pendragon slain dragons by the thousands.” That’s just a little taste of what the football team had to put up with all year.
   The fourth quarter was no better for the Lions. They had trouble getting their offense on track all night, and though Coach Algeo is one of the best play-callers in the league, the defense was just a step ahead on every play. The saying “when it rains it pours” proved true, as the Prep got two more scores from Jamiracle, to bring his total to four, and one by Charlie Noonan. Noonan was granted a few carries, as the regular and rightful starter Ryan Bradley ceded his starting spot for a few snaps. “The kid has a lot of potential,” said Bradley. “Does he have a little Rhino in him? That remains to be seen, but he could be good, real good.” Upon hearing this, Rutgers immediately offered Charlie a scholarship. Oh, and that might have had something to do with the nine tackles, three for losses, and the sack he tallied.
   The party began before the clock had even hit triple zeros. The aforementioned Mullen and Mark “Can’t Give You a Nickname or We’ll Get in Trouble” Halligan, did all they could to hold off the throng, but eventually gave way to a stampede similar to that of a group of pregnant women at a buffet. Unfortunately two Prep students, “Dead Ed” Mazurek and “Dyin’” John Ryan, were trampled to death in a story apparently missed by all local news carriers, but at least those brave souls died happily. The Lions were not as happy, as they strapped on their Timbs and slummed off to their post game meal of steak and protein shakes in the O’Hara weight room. As I was leaving the game I overheard Marianne Funston murmuring to another member of the Mothers club, “Dangnabit, them boys just pounded them Lions on both sides of the ball. That’s St. Joe’s Prep football for ya.” Well in a sense she may have been right, however much more went into it than simple on-field dominance. Noted Special Teams Captain John Fischer: “I would do anything for these guys. We’re not teammates-- we’re family. We sweat as One, we cried as One, and we won as One; and now we’re going to party as One. If any of my boys ever came to my hood, I’d gladly take a bullet for any one of them.” That my friends, is St. Joe’s Prep football for you.
   This season has been a great one for not only the team, but the whole Hawk Talk family. Contrary to popular belief, we didn’t do this article for the cash, girls, or street cred. (although the staff parties at Ted’s house were off the chain), but rather to keep people fired up about Catholic League football. We would also like to thank all of the Hawk Talk insiders, who did so much more than just get us coffee, sharpen our pencils, and make sure we were always in a comfortable “sitting down position” (that one never gets old, eh?). Among them were Joe Hurley, Dan Scanlan, Mike Frein, Mike Wallace, some girl named Mary, Alex Trebec, Johnny Carson, Damon Stoudamire, Robert “Bobby” E. Lee, and the countless others we surely forgot.
Game Notes:
-- Sorry to all of you who have been sitting at your computers since last Saturday clicking refresh. As former Prep nobody Chris Collier noted: “The reason your holding onto that article so long is that you know once it’s out people will be done with you, your popularity will be gone, and you’ll fade back into obscurity." It was good while it lasted.
-- Many players on the Prep team had impressive stats this year, but how’s this for impressive stats: 32 pages; 15,443 words; 86,834 characters; 31 paragraphs, 1,291 lines. (We accept Christmas bonuses)
-- Special thanks to the mothers of North Catholic's players for treating us to dinner after the game.
-- Andy Shalbrack announced just last week, much to the anger of head coach Speedy Morris, that he was retiring from basketball. Fresh off this shocker Shalbrack spoke one last time to Hawk Talk reporters about the sun setting on his storied high school sports career. "Good looks… (dramatic pause)… are eternal sunlight."
-- This victory is bittersweet for senior players as they’ll have to hand in their chinstraps on Monday for one last time-- unless of course you're Matt Leddy or John Fischer, who sport them year round.
-- We are pleased to announce that Chris Whitney met with an agent after the game and was successful in insuring his right arm.
-- This Prep team is a lot like Hawk Talk sponsor Citizen Eco-drive watches, who by the way “are unstoppable… just like the people who wear them."
-- This game was a battle of the top two coaches in the Catholic League. While Gil Brooks got the better of this battle, it will be interesting to see the next few years, especially if Dan “The Builder” Algeo (big Hawk Talk fan) adds a few more bricks. Good luck to all Prep’s underclassmen.
   Well, ladies and gents that’s a wrap. As our friend and fan Jay-Z once told us: When your status is at an all-time high, perfect time to say goodbye. The 2005 Catholic League Champions will certainly never be forgotten, and in the words of Al the Janitor- peace and love ya’ll.

NOV. 24
THANKSGIVING RIVALRY
La Salle 14, SJ Prep 13 (OT)
   The members of the La Salle Explorers football team finally will have something to tell their grandkids about. After the game, quarterback John Harrison responded to one fan that it was the “greatest thing that will ever happen to me. Ever. I mean, I am sure getting into college will be great, and finding the love of my life will be a gas, but everything, kids, everything, will take a back seat to this.” The befuddled fan walked away and asked someone else where the bathroom was.   Mike Padgeon popped a bottle of Dom Perignon (bought, legally, of course by the of-age Jack Forster), and proceeded to douse his teammates in the bubbly. The field was cleared by six that night, and the players spent the next 24 hours calling everyone they had ever met, even dialing random phone numbers, just to inform them of this monumental feat. The parade was Saturday morning, which left just enough time for the student body to make enough paper-mâché floats for the entire team to stand on. “It’s super neat how the whole team is so super happy. I like, totally love these guys," RB Chris Ashley told the crossing guard. Beads were thrown, kisses were blown, tears were shed, and a good time was had by all. In the overall scheme of things, the win should give La Salle tons of confidence going into the championship game this weekend against… Oh, wait.
   The game was an absolute gem. It was tight the whole way—not as tight as the Fox family, but still pretty tight. The Prep’s offense looked smooth at times in the first half, and the only thing more balanced than the rushing attack was Tim Lutz’s breakfast (can you say healthy?). Jack Forster was back in action, which was a surprise for the Prep coaching staff, since during the last meeting between these two teams on October 23, you would have thought Forster broke every bone in his body. Chris Whitney was elusive as ever, as he spent the entirety of the first quarter dodging defenders on one play. Whitney kept on trucking in the second quarter, as he led a long drive highlighted by a crushing stiff-arm on Jack Forster. Whitney drove Forrester to the ground, putting him out like a cigarette butt, and then said, “That’s just part of my campaign against smoking. It’s really a disgusting habit. I run a non-profit organization called Butt Out, and were trying to get cigarettes completely abolished. It’s the least I can do.” The drive was capped off as running back Jamir Livingston wove into the end zone from six yards out. Immediately following the season Livingston will battle Harrison in a Pokemon tournament to settle once and for all who will hold the title of Sophomore Sensation. Livingston is the odds-on favorite, but word is Harrison packs a pretty good Jiggly Puff to Charizard combo.
   Early in the second half, La Salle found themselves with the ball around the Prep’s goal line after a ref, who oddly enough called himself Hector, called a drop by Bill Edger a fumble. Coach Joe Colistra's squad failed to penetrate on the first three downs after a first and goal, yet decided to go for it on fourth. Harrison dropped back, but LB Colin Wixted came flying in unblocked and "knobsocked" the QB for a record-breaking sack. Not only did Wixted break the sack record, but also housebroke his new brown Labrador, Maximus, this weekend.
  While they had played poorly, the Prep went into halftime up 7, and feeling relatively comfortable. While several of the players spent the half refueling on Gatorade, and receiving deep tissue massages from Chuckie, Whitney cleansed his newly adopted baby seals, who had been soaked with oil in an Exxon tanker spill. We mention this because on the first Prep possession of the half, Whitney watched the ball squirt from his hands, only to be smothered by La Salle defenders. The Explorers wound up scoring on a lob to TE Drew "2nd team" Wilkins, which tied the game at a touchdown apiece.
   From then it was a defensive struggle which was marred by Prep turnovers. St. Joe’s did wind up with 227 yards rushing, which almost eclipsed the number of sentence fragments in Explore This. (Can I buy a comma?)
  Regulation ended with a drive that put the Prep in field goal range, led by a passing attack that included some key catches from FB Ryan Bradley, who manhandled La Salle MLB George “NFL” Hudson all day.  It was reported that in pregame warm-ups Hudson was heard yelling “I’m going to the league.” We wish George the best of luck, as he has narrowed his choices down to St. Joe's and Drexel on what he calls “football scholarships.” Tim Edger, who had been electric all year, felt it an opportune moment to try his new technique of “back-kicking”. He had it all worked out: The plan was to kick the ball off the snapper's back, projecting it at a 45-degree angle over the crossbar. The scheme backfired horribly however, as the ball got away from him, hitting Brett Tiagwad in the helmet and ricocheting backward.
In overtime, La Salle lost the toss and had the ball first on the far end of the field. On the first play, Harrison threw the ball to 26 year old Jack Forster. At first, it appeared as though Andy Shalbrack had intercepted the ball, yet it instantaneously turned into a tug-of-war for possession. The fight between Shalbrack and Forster for the ball was much like Jack’s epic battles with his brother Rob over a lady friend. Jack Attack actually won this one though, ripping the ball from Shalbrack’s grasp. Andy's dad reportedly kicked a fence and stormed off the premises before the Prep even got possession back. Later that night he asked Andy (without making eye contact) if he was going to be able to hold onto the salt if he passed it to him.
   When the Prep took the ball, QB Chris Whitney found Bill "OMG Homecoming Was Sooo Much Fun" Edger on an underneath route, and Bill scooted in for the touchdown. Tim Edger’s extra point was blocked, but it’s been rumored that Tim ordered the offensive line to let La Salle block it, so as not to surpass his brother in the point’s race. (Who could stay mad at a kid like that?) Pandemonium followed. The way the LaSalle faithful stormed the field you would have thought Abercrombie and Fitch was holding a 25% blowout sale. In the celebration I spotted the three “Explore This” kids jumping in a circle screeching, “It’s the end of the Empire, the end of the Empire!” Kinda surprised me since I didn’t realize we were in Star Wars. Forster was named the game’s MVP and when asked about what it was like winning so dramatically and being mobbed by all those pink and purple Polos, he responded, “I’m happy because I’m sure I’ll get a ton of press off this, but I didn’t like all those little fans touching my clean jersey.”
Game Notes:
  For all those complaining about how long you had to wait for this edition of HawkTalk, just consider how long La Salle had to wait to beat the Prep-- feel better?
  Congrats to Matt Leddy, who recently signed a contract with Planters, after they heard his motto: “No nuts, No glory."
  Quick injury report: John Shaw is coming along nicely in his rehab, and has garnered interest from D-1 Boise State. In a press conference held outside Holywood Tans, Shaw commented on the possibility of signing with Boise saying, “We’ll have to wait and see. I didn’t even know Boise was a state until this year, so I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”
  The defensive line of Noonan, Leddy, Haber, and Doogan absolutely dominated, holding La Salle to negative yards rushing.
This, believe it or not, is an actual excerpt from the most recent “Explore This”:
   “But the Prep was able to find some offense in the running game, which went for 227 yards.  But the Prep runners fumbled the ball three times. The Pit outnumbered the Prep's cheering section and at times the Prep kids were in the sitting down position, which is typical of fans who don’t think their team is going to win."
   (Clearing throat) Ok. Before you laugh hysterically, you have to give La Salle kids the benefit of the doubt when it comes to writing, since they don’t have traditional English classes, but rather “English Fashion.” Also I think maybe they could have replace  the term “in the sitting down position," with maybe just “sitting down”… just an opinion.
   Everyone on the Prep side was visibly shocked at the loss. When the game ended I was in the sitting down position, and I looked over at Kevin Funston and Sean Walsh, who were in the sitting down position with me, and I’ll never forget the look of disbelief that was transferred. Soon after I got over the meaningless loss and went home to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner—yep, in the sitting down position.
   While La Salle basks in the glory of this victory, the Prep prepares for the biggest game in Pennsylvania when they travel to Northeast High school Saturday night to take on the Lions of O’Hara. As anyone with a pulse remembers, O’H shocked a strong Prep team last year in the finals. The Hawks, beat the Lions 31-7 earlier this year. The loss to La Salle is bad news for Danny Algeo and his crew, because this team is furious. I see Coach Brooks opening up the passing game a lot more than he has in recent weeks. I’ll go Prep 24, O'Hara 13. PCL Champs.

NOV. 18
CATHOLIC RED SEMIFINAL
SJ Prep 53, Judge 9
   “Let’s win this one for Dave” was the last thing Coach Gil Brooks said to his team before they got off the bus Friday night at Northeast High School. Sadly, the Prep’s starting center, Dave LaPera, was unable to make the game due to a prior arrangement with his girlfriend. “It’s our one-month anniversary,” he said, “and it really means a lot to the both of us.” At first the team was a bit down about Dave’s decision to miss the game, but soon after realized he was probably making the right call. “The first month is huge for creating an emotional building block,” noted Prep captain Charlie Noonan. “What they have is something special, and it’s not our place to get between the two of them,” chimed in S Dave Mendez, “but we’ve still got a game to win.” With Joe D’Orazio filling in at center the Hawks did just that cruising to a 53-9 victory over the Baby Blue of Father Judge.
   The offense came out clicking on all cylinders as Offensive Coordinator Dillon Wixted unleashed an air attack. The playoffs began the same way the season did as the Kansas Kannon (a k a Chris Whitney) hit Bill “Deuce” Edger on a bomb for the first score. Edger sprinted in the end zone and pulled out his Motorola V188, just to call Chris to talk about the play. That didn’t last long however as K Timothy Edger ran out and roundhouse-kicked the cell phone out of Bill’s hand. Judge took a knee on their first three plays then punted the ball back to the Prep. Once again, the Hawks struck quickly, on a 60 yard TD run by Whitney. TE Matt Leddy was heard saying, “That is the slowest I have ever seen any human being run.” This was overheard by Edger, who scampered over to Whitney and immediately reported his overhearing. The angered Whitney vowed to never throw Leddy the ball again unless Anthony Walters was in the area. On the next drive, Whitney must have got something caught in his eye, because he hit WR Tom Elliot for a 59 yard TD. This did not please Tim Lutz, founder of the anti-Whitney cult, who suspended Elliot from all cult proceedings, even the weekly prank phone call in which they shout threats into Chris’ answering machine.
   The second quarter began with Judge QB Justin DeCristofaro stealing the ball from the referee, and beginning the drive with Prep still in a water break. Luckily for the Hawks injured RB John Shaw saw the whole thing, and tripped a Judge receiver galloping down the sideline. After the takedown Shaw did that standing flex thing that he does, but more importantly this allowed for the Prep defense to regroup in time, as they managed to hold the Crusaders to only a FG.
   Jamir Livingston, as usual, led an efficient ground attack which produced 347 yards on the night. With his on-field heroics this year Jamir has eclipsed Jameer Nelson in a poll of most popular athlete named Jamir/Jameer in St. Joe’s history. We congratulate him. He also notched his seventh touchdown of the year on a 69-yard run. Jamir was not finished, however, as he polished off two more second quarter drives with scores of 2 and 20 yards. With his three scores Jamir closed within 2 behind Chris Whitney for the team's point race. As we all know, the winner of that honor gets to make eye contact with Coach Brooks.
   A heart-warming display of love among teammates occurred during the week among the St. Joe’s Prep Hawks. When Brooks announced the active roster, it was noticed by several players that Junior RB Bradley Wright had been left off. Led by Linebacker Ryan Malarick, one by one the team placed their jerseys on Brooks’ desk, pledging not to play in his lieu. This put Brooks in a tough spot, as luckily for Wright he was forced to activate him. Unluckily for DB Andy Shalbrack, Brooks took him up on his sacrifice and de-activated him. The team reportedly heard Shalbrack screaming “Coach, what about my endorsements?!”, but it was no use. It’s been a tough week for Ando; First Joe “DeKid” DeCree was named All Catholic over him, and then the deactivation. To top it off his love interest, Mary, was unable to fly home from San Francisco for Thanksgiving. But back to Wright. The backup RB was promised only five carries, but he made the most of them, totaling 121 yards and TD runs of 32 and 78 yards. The Prep’s offensive line was dominating, which may have been due to the urgency of Jim “Jimmayy” Dunn and Jim “Snowplow” McKenzie to blow Judge out so they could be on time for the premier of Harry Potter III.
   On defense, Dave Clement had a banner game, notching his second interception of the year. Dave also graduated from Velcro to tie cleats this week. Matt Leddy did his part on defense, as he got to Judge QB Justin DeChristofuture three times. This impressed his boyhood icon Joe Bauer, Tower of Power. Leddy is similar to Bauer in all aspects of his game, and even seriously considered having calf muscle reduction surgery to fit his build more closely.  Jim McGoldrick, who had his first interception of the year, was part of a defensive backfield that was more restrictive than the cheering rules for the Thanksgiving game.
GAME NOTES:
-The Hawk Talk writers will be heading to South Africa to escape the massive pressure of making the weekly article even funnier than Explore This.
-Joe D’Orazio received first team All-Catholic at center, but by that logic, Gavin Keirans should have at least gotten an Honorable Mention nod.
-Quick note for all the La Salle people complaining about Harrison not getting 1st team over Whitney-- He did not have better numbers. Whitney compiled more total yards, and more touchdowns in nearly half the playing time of Harrison, as well as led his team to first place in the division.
- Shoutout to Pat Reilly, who correctly predicted the outcome, and exact score of Judge’s victory over Roman. By the same token, congrats to Judge for that win, and I hope there are no hard feelings.
- If anyone wants to purchase the advertisement space on our page, just hit us up with an email. Guaranteed boost in business!
Prediction: Thanksgiving will not be as close as the regular season battle. I’m sure everyone looks forward to both the teams, and the columnists, going head to head. 27-10 SJP.

NOV. 5
CATHOLIC RED
SJ Prep 31, O'Hara 7
   If you're wondering why you've never heard Colin Wixted's name before this year, brace yourself for this tearjerker. When Colin was a freshman his pet pig, Harold McPherson, died in a tragic accident at the Prep-O'Hara freshman game. Colin had just made a huge tackle, and Harold, squealing with delight, ran out onto the field to celebrate with him. In the process however, an O'Hara player stepped on Harold's head, puncturing his cranium. Harold was rushed to Jefferson Hospital, but there was just nothing they could do. Colin spent his entire sophomore year in the Appalachians building a shrine out of Brundisian mahogany, until one day he had a revelation -- Harold loved football and would have wanted Colin to keep playing. So Colin returned to the Prep, and after a year of eating nothing but nuts and berries, began lifting weights and loading up on protein, with hopes of one day avenging Harold McPherson's death. To say the least, Colin got that revenge Saturday night at Plymouth Whitmarsh as he led the Hawks to a 31-7 victory over Cardinal O'Hara.
   The game was the most highly anticipated event since last year’s press conference, in which Brendan O’Malley announced he would play collegiate football at Duquesne. On a sidebar, O’Malley is having a gas in the Steel City, getting up early, keeping in contact with his schoolmates, working hard, and really enjoying himself. But enough about BO; back to the contest. The game started out in what seemed to be a defensive battle, as there was less scoring in the first half than at a La Salle mixer. DT Charlie Noonan set the tone defensively with two stops on the first drive, and sported his patented “running, overhead fist pump” at least three times. After a few unfruitful drives, the Prep found itself sitting inside their own 10 yard line. Coach Gil Brooks went into the cookbook looking for some instant offense, only to find a recipe for disaster (who said we weren’t real writers?) Whitney dropped back and absolutely fired the ball off Wixted’s shoulder pad from about 4 feet away, and ricocheted into the end zone. The O’Hara players, frolicked after the ball with fervid excitement, only to have it end up in the hands of DB Harry Duke, putting them up 6-0. The O’H sidelines went so wild you would have thought Timmy Lutz had taken off his shirt. Duke, who was named O’Hara’s most eligible bachelor, is very similar to Prep standout Andy Shalbrack in both on-field performance and good looks, the only difference being Duke actually made his freshman baseball team. Asked to elaborate on the play Duke responded, “My favorite part was scoring the touchdown.” QB Anthony Walters and RB John Dempsey both showed great speed, breaking huge runs in the first half only to come away with nothing.
   Brooks decided this called for desperate measures as he ordered his players to take off their blindfolds and handcuffs, which had been worn against the rest of the Catholic League.
   Jamir Livingston was back to lead an impressive ground attack, rushing for 132 yards and 2 touchdowns. Jamir remained modest however, deflecting all credit to the offensive line led by Jim Dunn. Dunn, a guard, is looking surprisingly cut the past few weeks after trading in Taco Bell for TrimSpa. He blasted open a whole that Livingston scampered through to even the game up at 7 going into the half.
   At halftime, Prep friends and families had an opportunity to win an authentic Prep football by guessing the number of freckles on Bill Edger’s face.  Colleen Miller, of Blue Bell, took home the prize with an estimate of 132, which was right on the money. They also honored the Prep seniors, which prompted Kevin Healy to predict a Prep loss since, “They won’t have their game faces on anymore” -- he could not have been more wrong.
   The start of the second half, was momentarily postponed as police took care of crazed North Catholic and Neumann-Goretti mothers protesting outside of PW with chants of “Kill Hawk Talk” and “Hawk Talk Must Die” (luckily, no animals or people were sacrificed).  The third quarter was “the Prep’s quarter” as my Dad said with a grin, which I responded to by telling him to zip it. The Hawks moved the ball down the field at will, scoring on a 3 yard TD run by Jamir, who then dunked the ball over the crossbar. After the kickoff the Lions were at it again, but on their first play, DT Ryan Haber got his jacked fingers (not pudgy at all, for the record) on the ball, deflecting it into the hands of Wixted. You could almost see a pig nudging Wixted along as he jetted 38 yards for the score. Wixted was recently named one of the three fastest players in the Catholic League, much to the disdain of Prep Junior Jim Tatlow, who insists he could burn him.
   In a questionable move Dan “The Builder” Algeo plugged freshman QB Tom Savage in and moved Walters to receiver. While Savage has an enormous upside, and throws the ball as well as any player in the league, the experienced Prep defense forced him into three interceptions, but not tears. O’H players don’t cry; end of discussion.
   The Hawks were not finished: on their ensuing possession, Chris Whitney lobbed a perfect scoring throw to Bill Edger. This brought Bill’s season point total to 36, which is pretty good, but not when you compare it to his little brother Timothy’s 42! Tim informs us that this puts his record against Bill at 17-1 in their intra-family competitions, with his one loss coming in ping-pong because “The paddle sucked, that’s the only reason.” Just to make sure that O’Hara didn’t recycle the “fluke” excuse from last year's regular season game, Livingston punched it again for a nine yard score, but it was negated by the referee who bet the under.
   In case you’re keeping tabs, Whitney finished the regular season with 1172 passing yards, 21 total TDs and a new girlfriend from Laguna Beach (seriously). However, what most people don’t know about Chris is that he was originally cast as Benny “the Jet” Rodriguez in the 1993 film “The Sandlot”, however was scratched at the last second since producers couldn’t find a baseball cap that would fit his enormous head.
Game Notes:
   Coach Algeo invited a large contingent of last year’s players onto the sidelines during the game. Many Prep fans noted they’ve never seen so many shaved heads and Timberlands.
   Congrats to Tim Lutz and Ryan Malarick on being named semi-finalists for “Catholic League Cutest Player” award. Results come out Friday.
   As for All-Catholics they may as well make a list of Prep starters NOT being honored, just to save some ink.
   O’H had by far the hottest girls in Catholic League play, which I noticed while on their side (in my mask of course).
   It’s a safe bet to say that SJP will be seeing O’Hara in the finals, but an even safer bet is La Salle bailing on Thanksgiving Day (again).

OCT. 29
CATHOLIC RED
SJ Prep 35, N. Catholic 0
   Christmas came early for the players of North Catholic. As a special treat, head coach Chalie Szydlik set up a special “meet and greet” so that all of his players could get to know their favorite players on the Hawks. It was quite a sight to see as Falcon players would rush up to their Prep favorites, tug on their sleeves and ask for an autograph. It was impossible not to smile watching players like North WR Daryl Robinson getting his face painted by Prep S Ryan Malarick, or watching the balloon slip from Chris Whitney’s hand and make a flatulent noise, much to the giggling glee of the North defensive line. Charlie Noonan and Ryan Haber even had “piggie-back” races with two North defensive backs holding on. “The guys were great,” Szydlik said “my kids loved them.” Once the game got going, however, the laughter turned to tears as Prep blasted North 35-0 in the Grrreat Northeast.
   Before Joanne Leddy could finish whispering the secret ingredient in her chocolate chip cookies to Anne Noonan, the Prep was already on the board as Colin Wixted took the opening kick 90 yards for the score. Wixted, a Civil war buff, compared the score to “the great William Tecumseh Sherman storming on Atlanta in 1864!” The Prep’s fierce defense prepared for battle, but soon learned the snack bar volunteers had a tougher task than they did. They showed very little of their dynamic blitz package as the undersized North players went down almost as easily as Jack Forster. After the first series Coach Gil Brooks allowed superstar TE/DE Matt Leddy to remove his apparel and just relax. Leddy replaced his Crimson and Gray threads with his new Sixers’ jumpsuit, which exudes a vibrant mix of red and blue, that he boasts of getting for under 20$. While Leddy considered the outfit a bargain, I’d rather pay to read an ‘Explore This’ article. Kidding aside, Leddy has had so much success in his black Under Armor skullcap this year that Brooks has decided to make it a mandatory part of the jersey next year. They will be made available in crimson and grey, with the black being retired in Leddy’s honor.
   On offense, Chris Whitney found former wide receiver, and current decoy Tom Elliot, in the gravel part of the end zone for a 15 yard TD (The field wasn’t big enough for full endzones, but how should North know! Hioo). Elliot got the ball because Bill Edger was busy “letting” Mike Frein draw on his face on the sidelines.  After another defensive stop, the Prep’s offense was at it again. RB Bradley “Call Me Lendell White” Wright took over, as RB Jamir Livingston missed the game while shooting a cameo for this week's episode of "Desperate Housewives." When contacted about it, Livingston said, “Listen, one little injury could knock me out of the game of football, but nothing can take away my charming smile, or perfectly curved jaw line.” He promises to be back for O’Hara.
   Saturday, however, was Wright’s day to star. The junior back had 112 yards matching the gigavoltz of his mother's screams on the sidelines. He set ‘em up, and Prep fullback Ryan Bradley knocked ‘em down for the second score (it must be bowling season!!!)
   Bradley used the same mentality on the field as he uses with the ladies -- "why have one, when you can have three?” -- as he barreled his way in for two more scores.
   The Matt-Blat-Splat of the game came in the first quarter when Hawk DT Ryan Haber broke into the backfield and ripped North QB Dennis Logue’s head off. Haber may have become a bit confused, as after he yelled “That’s Longhorn football baby”.
   Arguably the most consistent part of the defense this year has been the linebacking corps, after being a question mark in training camp. Colin Wixted led the crew this week as he brought his season tackle total to 80 and added his 7th sack in the last 4 games. While the defensive backs have been solid to say the least, football seems to have taken a backburner to advertising his new book for CB Andy Shalbrack. His inspiring biography, “You can wear designer jeans, and play football too!” has gotten mediocre reviews, and Borders has even dropped the book from its stock. Shalbrack did, however, get his fourth interception of the year. In a classy move, he gave the ball to WR Tim “Star Wars” Lutz because, “I just wanted him to know what it felt like.”
   Mr. Versatility, John Fischer, did not come through with the two touchdowns that he promised, which means he’ll have to wear sleeves for a full week as punishment.
GAME NOTES:
  North’s band was outstanding, as the drum leader put on a Nick Cannon-esque performance.
  Now that North is out of the way, we can start talking about the game people have been anticipating for weeks…. Flag football semi-final between Keith Pizzi’s Purple Cobras, and Joe Hurley’s Komeback Kids.
  If Hawk Talk readers haven’t gotten a chance to check out the article by the La Salle boys (Explore This), you really should. It’s the cutest little thing; they modeled the entire article exactly after Hawk Talk, and the writing is almost as exhilaratingly funny as a documentary on tree bark. Great work, guys!
   Congrats to 97.5 the Hawk on their boost in ratings after buying naming rights from us.
   Next up for SJP is the Lions of O’Hara. People may remember the Lions shocked the world by upending the Prep in the CL finals, handing them their first loss in 27 years. While this year may be a different story as the Prep seemingly improved while the Lions lost several contributing seniors, this Algeo-led team is not to be taken lightly. I anticipate a defensive battle, which the Prep will eventually overcome with some timely scoring. I’ll go Prep 17 O’Hara 10.

OCT. 23
CL RED
SJ Prep 21, La Salle 14
   Eagles or Hawks? That was the question Sunday afternoon after Saturday night’s rainout. The longest standing rivalry in the league was actually quite a conundrum (yea I said it) whether to attend, however those who made the trek out to Ben Johnston Memorial Stadium saw quite a treat. Choosing which to go to was like making a parent choose between their children, which is difficult unless you have an older sister (hey Kate). The field was the nicest facility away from home the Prep has seen this year, which doesn’t say much considering a tennis court would have been nicer than any of the other fields. Check this out; the playing surface was actually flat, and the turf was shinier than Mr. Whelan’s head. What had been predicted as a blowout ended up being a pretty tough game for the Hawks-- not as tough as ex-Explorer Eddie DiDonato, but what is?
   The Prep secondary had large shoes to fill when it was discovered that star DB Andy Shalbrack had been suspended from the game when it was found he had accepted merchandise from one of his sponsors, Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We were able to get a quote from him in which he responded, “This is Bush League! Who wouldn’t take free satin lace curtains; those things can really tie a room together.”
   The scoring in the game started when senior safety Dave Mendez jumped an out rout around the 30, and for the second week in a row, took it to the house. When asked about the play, Dave said, “My God, you guys are still writing these things” (always supportive). This game also marked the triumphant return of DL Charlie Noonan. While rehabbing his knee, Charlie got his bench press up to a hefty 700 lbs.  His return also meant that Steve Schell, who had been filling in for him, could concentrate more on the tight end position. This paid off as Schell had a couple of nice receptions for 28 yards. Meanwhile, the incumbent tight end, Matt Leddy, has added the University of Richmond to his list of potential postgraduate suitors because “their weight room is good, and they serve steak a lot.”
   The Explorers were not going to succumb without dirtying their jerseys, and they got in on the scoring act in the second quarter. La Salle quarterback John Harrison (5’9, 108lbs), was asked to see ID before allowed on the field. Once he made his way through the gates he hit his running back Chris Ashley for a 10 yard scoring pass. Contrary to previous reports, Ashley is not one of the Ashley’s from Recess. On offense, the Prep was led by RB Jamir “the Rocketteer” Livingston. Livingston showed the elusiveness of Pete Nowlan with the Dean on the prowl, as he shimmied for a career high 172 yards on 25 carries. Livingston made his way into the Explorer’s secondary on what seemed like every carry, as the shifty back would just slip between lineman, hit the clutch, and go into another gear.
   A subplot of the game was the rivalry between mascots. The Prep’s Hawk, Mike Wallace, kept challenging Drew Brandt, the LaSalle “Explorer” (what is that thing?) to a dance off, but Brandt declined, complaining of an ingrown toenail. The battle of words ended when Wallace told Brandt he could “explore his {expletive}”.
  The halftime festivities included a rematch of the brawl between the La Salle fathers, and some Prep freshman football players that took place Friday afternoon. The action was getting heated until a few incensed La Salle mothers ran onto the field and told the young Preppers to “pick on someone their own size." ha ha ha
   The first scoring in the second half came on a Chris Whitney run. The Prep QB took a dive to the left, stumbled, but then regained his balance, made a move and was off to the races. Whitney showed off his 6 second 40 time, and took the ball 65 yards. The run was polished off by a pancake block by Prep WR Tom Elliot. Elliot blocks so much, that he is considering putting on 120 lbs. in the next week, just so he can officially become a lineman. To his credit, Elliot did have the same number of catches in the game as Bill Edger. (zero) The lack of throws may reveal some truth to the rumor that Edger stole Whitney’s Clearasil face wash, which “keeps my complexion beautiful”, at their last sleepover party. Edger seemed distracted all game by Andy Shalbrack’s flowing hair on the sidelines. Andy has been using a new die called “buttered toast”, which he thinks is particularly eye-catching.
   The Prep offense stuttered worse than a La Salle kid talking to a girl, and was plagued by turnovers all day, five to be exact. Whitney’s two interceptions may not have been his fault, but they probably were. Prep fullback Ryan Bradley even fumbled, which marked the first time he had dropped anything since AP Government junior year.
   The Explorers were only able to capitalize on one of these mistakes, and did so with a Harrison pass to “Pretty Ricky” Cosgrove. The Prep delivered the knockout punch as the offense managed to work their way down the field in the fourth quarter and punched the ball in on a 2 yard run by Livingston. The Hawk’s defense then kicked in, shutting down the Explorer’s offensive attack. The Prep defense held LaSalle to -14 yards on the ground, and was lead by LB Josh Howley, a semi-finalist for Academic All-American, who had 10 stops, and Noonan who had the hit of the game on a late run play where he collapsed the LaSalle running back’s lung. Countering the passing attack, LB Colin Wixted had another sack, and the Prep got key late deflections from Shalbrack (who actually did play), Whitney, and CB Dave Clement.
GAME NOTES:
  Chris Whitney is making the most of his starting role, as Buddy Brooks, Gil's 8th-grade son, will more than likely take the reigns at QB next season.
  La Salle wanted this one bad, as Prep President Tom Clifford (big Hawk Talk fan) made a deal before the game that if La Salle won, we would give them their sign back.
  Explorer wideout Jack “I am the man” Forster was shockingly held out of the end zone. He has been compared to the Catholic League version of Freddie Mitchell.
   The La Salle student section should re-name themselves “The Lemon Pit” because we’ve never seen so much bitterness.
   Some La Salle faithful are now writing on Tedsilary.com-- If anyone is interested in reading their excerpts you can find them under the subtitle “Bandwagon."
   Next up for the Crimson and Gray is North Catholic Saturday, 1 o’clock AWAY. The starters' mothers will likely be able to take a week off from wash, as it’s unlikely they will break a sweat: 47-0 Prep.

OCT. 15
CATHOLIC RED
SJ Prep 38, Judge 0
   Shocked. This was the feeling in the Judge locker room after their 38-0 blowout loss to St. Joe’s Prep at home Saturday afternoon. The players, many of whom had severe concussions following the game, expressed their disappointment. “We should have pulled this one out,” said quarterback Justin DeCristofaro, “those damn refs.” Judge had a great week of practice leading up to the game—“We even went to Luigi’s barbershop for a team shapeup, we really bonded,” noted DeCristofaro, “I didn’t see this coming.” While Judge players may have lacked talent, and general coordination, no one can fault them for their effort, this Prep team is just too explosive.
  The Boys of Fall started the scoring barrage early in the first quarter as Bill Edger caught a ball from BFF Chris Whitney and took it in 12 yards for the score. The two celebrated by blowing an orchestrated kiss, and planned on doing what they call “the tummy touch” until Tim Edger told his brother to “get off my field” and booted the extra point to put the Hawks up 7-0, all before the Judge cheerleading squad could finish a double-back-handspring-to-roundoff. While it’s well known that the Edger brothers have both had great seasons for the Crimson and Gray, few know how heated a rivalry they actually have. The two wear matching pajamas with little footballs on them, and are nearly deadlocked in the points race. With his two touchdowns, Bill regained the lead and the right to sleep on the top bunk. The Kansas- New Jersey connection was not done. Whitney fired a strike to Edger for yet another TD, this time for 27 yards. Edger now has 32 catches on the year, equaling that of former prep star, and current Notre Dame linebacker Steve Quinn. We contacted Quinn to comment on Edger, who noted “Oh yeah, Billy, he did a fantastic job getting me water last year. Great speed.” There has been some concern over the fact So. RB Jamiracle Livingston has not being scoring much recently, which Whitney commented on saying “I told him until he grows a John Shaw mustache I’m not giving him the ball.”
   The stands at the game were packed with supporters for Mayfair’s finest, Ryan Bradley, the Prep’s fullback. Bradley had his own cheering section, St Matt’s football shirts with Ryan’s picture were worn by dozens of fans, and every St. Matt’s alum from the last 15 years was there to see him play. Ryan rushed for 40 yards, and his younger brother Mike, “thought I was about to get in for this one play, but didn’t, which kinda sucked.”
   In the third quarter, there was some extracurricular activity involving a Crusader defender, Livingston and Prep tackle Jim McKenzie. McKenzie was slapped with a personal foul, and had to sit out a few plays. This was the perfect opportunity for his stunt double, junior Joe McKendrie, to bob out onto the field. McKendrie is like McKenzie in every way imaginable, from the shock of red hair, to the 6’4” stature, to enjoying sushi, a warm blanket, and a good mystery novel. Later in the quarter, Tim Edger coolly kicked a 33 yard field goal, with plenty of leg, and did his Koy Detmer monkey-spank, always a crowd pleaser.
  On a punt late in the quarter, special teams ace Brian Brinkmann took out the entire Judge line with a single forearm, and was flying towards the punter when his wing got clipped and he landed on the crown of his head. In a very scary moment, an ambulance was brought on the field for Brinkmann, as the junior was put on a stretcher and taken to the hospital. He suffered 2 broken vertebrae, and is likely done for the year. Brinkmann personifies what Prep football is all about; having no regard for his body, and 100% regard for the team. His attitude and style of play will be very much missed.
   By the time the fourth quarter rolled around, the team was clicking on all cylinders. Early in the game, Prep Student Council President Keith “Tastycake” Pizzi said something along the lines of, “One of these days, Mendez is going to break a punt for a touchdown, and I’m a really good volleyball player.” Well, Pizzi was at least partially right, as Dave Mendez took an early fourth quarter punt 75 yards, untouched, for a score. Prior to last weeks game, Whitney was asked why he never throws to wideout Tim Lutz anymore, in which he responded “Who?” This is significant because, in the Hawk Talk play of the game, Prep QB Chris Whitney absorbed a blow from a defender and threw a 28 yard bomb to Tim “Old News” Lutz.  Before the game Lutz went out and bought a watch because “I thought it was about time”, as he caught his 1st TD of the season. Lutz hugged Whitney and vowed to stop sending him angry emails from the address IloveJimMcCormick24@yahoo.com.
  Soon after Dave Mendez corralled a pass by Judge QB Justin DeChristofaro and waltzed in for another easy TD. Asked why he hasnt had an interception lately, CB Andy Shalbrack got irritated and yelled, "Listen, I've been concentrating on my schoolwork. Unlike most of these guys I like to break a mental sweat too." After the game Mendez was noticeably hunched over. When asked what the problem was he said "I'm just tired of carrying this team on my back." LB Colin Wixted put together yet another standout performance after being honored with Player of the Week for his great game against Bonner. Wixted still hasn’t taken off the shirt he was awarded, even for sleeping or showering, and has worn it everyday to practice. Josh Howley was also in on 10 tackles for the Hawks.
  On the Offensive line, Jeff Battipaglia and John Gazzola had superb games, and are well on their way to being just like their idols, the Bash Brothers from Mighty Ducks D2. Center Dave LaPera also hinted that he may see some time at running back, but that coach Brooks is just saving him for playoffs.
Game Notes:
   Whitney missed a wide open John Fischer, in at TE, for what would have been a TD. Fischer confronted Whitney and said, “Yo, what’s it called, what’s it called, I was wide open jawn”…
Coach Gil Brooks was late for the game after representing Matt Daly in a JUG case, a k a "Matt Daly vs. the Dean's Office."
McDonalds would like to thank Hawk Talk for their spike in business...
Much ado was made about TE Matt Leddy’s skullcap. When asked why he wore it he said “Cause” and power bombed Hawk Talk correspondent Joe Hurley.
Bill Edger and Chris Whitney were forced to remove their jewelry, heart-shaped lockets with each other's pictures, before the game which may have added fuel to the duo's performance.
  Next up for the Hawks on Saturday at 7 are the Explorers of La Salle, which used to be a rivalry. La Salle will likely complain about something, and the Hawks will win 34-7, which might even be generous.

OCT. 9
CATHOLIC RED
SJ Prep 34, Bonner 7
   I guess the St. Joe’s Hawks can be off their game and still dominate. That was the case on Sunday night at Upper Darby High School as the Monsignor Bonner Friars took a pounding at the hands of The Prep, 34-7. While many thought it unthinkable, the Prep actually scored faster than the Bonner players were able to run their mouths.
    The Hawks opened up the scoring when DE Matt Leddy, who sports arguably the dirtiest beard in the CL, stripped the ball clean of Matt McGillian and took off towards the endzone like someone was chasing him with a razor. Leddy, who runs sprints on the beach while carrying his dad on his back during the summer, outran the entire Bonner squad and then passed out in the end zone. SJP immediately set the tone on defense. Bonner’s highly touted QB Marc Verica, was rumored to have said before the game, “I can wait to light these [guys] up. SIX touchdowns, mark my words. I’m coming at their boy Shalbrack all night.” This however did not happen, as Verica led a Bonner offense that looked more obscure than Colin Liberatore (He’s 6’6 and has red hair- use your imagination). Andy Shalbrack seemed unmoved by these comments, and held what most people like to call a family dinner, (however he prefers we use the term “press conference”) in which he explained to his parents and little sister why he wears the number 6. Said Shalbrack, “Well, I think it’s because of my uncanny similarities to Victor Hobson, especially my reputation as a big hitter, and my well developed calf muscles.” Victor, who now plays OLB for the New York Jets, has been begging for a Hawk Talk shoutout since week 1, so there you go buddy. Verica is supposedly a "stud",  but if the little kid from Jerry Maguire is right, and bees and dogs can smell fear, let's just say there was a lot of buzzing and barking—and sniffing. He totaled -61 yards on the day (no exaggeration). In Marc's defense, he had little to work with as the Prep’s defensive backfield did a great job of blanketing the Friars WR’s Johanna Hayes and Mike “Spicy” Tomasco. (Marc appreciates a good cube-busting session as much as the next guy. He also knows how to reach us -- ha ha.)
    Later in the first quarter, Prep fullback Ryan Bradley scored his fourth TD in the last three games. Bradley’s only regret is that he won’t be able to push DiMaggio at 56.  Tim Edger’s extra point attempt was blocked, leaving the score at 13-0. On the sidelines Edger got in the faces of his O-lineman. Asked after the game why he was so upset about the blocked PAT he responded, “I’m not trying to pull a Cavanaugh this year.” As previously mentioned the defense was all over Verica, led by linebacker Colin Wixted who had 4 sacks. Wixted has a plethora of skills which label him as a “five-tool player”. He can run, jump, throw, block, and has a great beach body. Wixted has a vertical leap of 37 inches (seriously) and fashion intuition rivaling that of Gwen Stefani. Whitney did not have his best game, completing only three passes, but after the game patiently explained his troubles, telling Hawk Talk reporters to “get out of my face”. Whitney did however, finish with 80 yards passing highlighted by a 37 yard TD toss to Leddy.
    The second half was much of the same, but Prep’s electric running back, So. Jamir Livingston, was held in check. Livingston was mostly shut down by former Prep freshman star Kevin Finnegan, who is the Friars best defensive player, by far.
    The Hawks still managed to trickle the ball down the field in the 3rd quarter and notch a 1 yard Whitney TD run. The Prep also saw receptions in the game from Bill “I Was Triple-Teamed” Edger and Tim “Behind the Scenes” Lutz. The Friars finally got into the end zone in the fourth quarter, on a 22 yard run from Calvin Powell. After that there was a 20 minute delay to clean all the green and white streamers off the field, and Powell was presented with a trophy and a free year of lunch in the Bonner cafeteria.
    The Hawk Talk play of the game came in the 4th quarter when Wixted took his second carry of the season 62 yards to the house. Wixted is leading the team, and probably the league with 41 yards per carry.
   Others who played well in the game: Ryan Malarick had a sack and was very good on defense. The O-line did a great job of protecting Whitney, led by Jim McKenzie. Jim "Jimaayy" Dunn had a great game, and has received little recognition this year, which he made sure I remembered while writing this. The defensive line held their own against the Friars, as they were successful stopping the run and defending the pass. On special teams, Dave Mendez had another spectacular game returning the ball, which earned him a game ball and a kiss from mom.
Game Notes:
   Bonner running game showed glimpses of promise, led by 6th-year senior Jeff Disipio.
  Late in the game, Prep special teamer John “Sticks” Fischer made an acrobatic dive and just nearly missed blocking a punt. John was called for a penalty on the play on what was clearly incidental contact, a call which Fischer referred to as “preposterous mularkey.”
  Prep legend Scott “Sooter” Howley, last years center and long snapper, made an appearance at the game.
   In an exciting development HawkTalk (tm) signed an 8 week contract with McDonald's. Now if you throw out the term "HawkTalk” at any participating locations within the Tri-State area, you can receive a free medium soft drink. (Ted's note: Or not.)
   It is rumored DT Charlie Noonan is planning a comeback sometime very soon.
Game Prediction: Last week's prediction 37-7 Prep (wow we’re good). The Hawks travel to Father Judge on Saturday at 2:30 for another Catholic League battle. The game will certainly be a blowout; however you can expect the Judge coaches to be “proud of their players' effort” afterwards. Prep takes it, 44-3.

SEPT. 30
CATHOLIC RED
SJ Prep 41, Ryan 0
   For those studious Prep students looking for a quiet place to study Friday night, they found it in the Archbishop Ryan student section.  The stands were as placid as ever on the visiting side of Plymouth-Whitemarsh field, and for good reason, as the Prep romped for a consecutive 41-0 victory. Ryan’s star running back, Joe Zeglinski was “injured” --- actually, he was, as he tore his ACL.
   On the Prep’s first drive, RB Jamir Livingston actually outran the ball he was carrying, which resulted in a fumble recovered by Archbishop Ryan’s defense. Ryan, feeding off the momentum, responded by orchestrating a drive of -3 yards. It was their first of many fruitless drives, as they simply could not get their offense going. This was largely in part to the SJP defense, which is playing better than Bon Jovi in concert. (Can I get a whoo-ha from all the dads reading that one?!) The defensive play of the game came when safety Dave Mendez knifed into the backfield and brought down an unsuspecting Ryan ball carrier deep in the visitor’s territory.  Dave proceeded to “throw his diamonds in the sky” because he “felt the vibe.” On offense, Livingston flashed his way to a Jim Bryne-esque 127 yards, the most in his short career.  In the first quarter, St. Joe’s only managed to score one time, a 6-yard scoot into the end zone by Prep QB Chris Whitney, which capped off a long Prep scoring drive.  According to www.middleofnowhere.com, Whitney is one of the top 5 athletes all-time to come out of Kansas, as well as third on the list of famous people, behind Dorothy and Tupac (you didn’t know?).
   The second quarter was the Hawks' money quarter, as the only person more tired than the Ryan defense backs was the scoreboard operator. The passing game was sharper than Matt Beck’s chin, as Whitney spread the ball around, sending passes to Bill Edger, William Edger, and Billy Edger, just to name a few. Bill caught a 40 yard bomb that was placed just out of reach of the Ryan DB, whose dive left Edger enough room to saunter into the end zone. On a negative note, Whitney and Edger hooked up so often they were taken into custody after the game for public indecency by the Whitemarsh township patrol. LB Colin Wixted then got in on the offensive act, catching the 2 point conversion pass. Wixted also had a 20 yard run later in the game, and has huge muscles. The Prep’s next score came on a Whitney dive off the right guard. There was some grumbling among the Crimson Crazies, because Whitney has yet to drop a suitable celebration dance on us. Word is, he is working on one he calls “Shampooing the Monkey” and from the hype, it’s going to eclipse Brian Brinkman’s “Fluttering of the Seagulls”. Before the game it was reported by HawkTalk insiders that Whitney and Edger were found dancing to Britney Spears’ “Hit me Baby one more time”, and Whitney did just that, smacking Edger with a 30 yard floater in the left corner (both deny the report). Unfortunately for Ryan, 21 points did not satiate the Hawks, as they had to cap off the half with a five yard bruising TD run by fullback Ryan “Rhino” Bradley.
   In the second half, the Prep’s first teamers made only a brief cameo, which was enough for Bradley to score another TD, this time on an 11 yard crunch through the middle.   Bradley finished the game with 52 yards, and 2 stabbings on special team’s skirmishes.  The second team, and third team defense held the fort down, led by inside linebacker Pete Noonan, and star defensive lineman John Fischer. The final quarters held about as much attention as a lecture by Mr. Dehoratius, and juniors Ryan Haber and Neil Doogan had an arm wrestling competition on the sidelines.
   With two minutes left to play, and a 41-0 lead Prep CB/back up QB Andy Shalbrack pleaded with Coach Gil Brooks to let him run the hurry up offense. Brooks responded by smacking Shalbrack and telling him to sit down. Shalbrack, who now refers to himself as "number 6" spoke after the game about the recent autograph demands, noting, "Well, I mean when you have three picks in five games people want you," Shalbrack hesitated then added, "I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal." HawkTalk never saw one person actually approach Shalbrack for an autograph, but one kid, after seeing his hair and then his jersey asked him if he actually played football.
       Among the players having stellar games for the Prep were DL Ryan Haber, DL Neil Doogan, DB Dave Mendez, CB Dave Clement, LB Ryan Malarick and DL Steve Schell. Haber dominated Ryan C Ron Sankus, and Schell played well alongside him, especially after seeing little prior action on the DL. Mendez seemed to be involved on every play, and also did well in the return game. Clement intercepted a Joe DeCree pass in the first half, which was especially hard because he was playing with Paul Sutton’s ankle weights. Malarick added a sack on a play where he showed his speed, running down DeCree from behind. After the play DeCree came out for a short time to change his pants (JK). Impressing as blockers were T Jim McKenzie, C Dave LaPera, and TE Matt Leddy.
    Ryan must have had some bright spots, though, right? Well, Mikey Davis did run for 14 yards, which would have been great if it wasn’t in the wrong direction. And DeCree completed half of his passes, which is to be commended, since he looked younger than most of the Prep’s ballboys. It was a tough week for Ryan coach Glen Galeone, who had no way of preparing for this dynamic Prep team.
   Game Notes: The Prep’s mascot this year will be Mike Wallace, who plans to be the “greatest ever” at his craft. The PW cleanup crew did a great job sweeping all the Ryan jockstraps off the field after the game, and they are to be commended. Next up for the Prep is Monsignor “All-Talk” Bonner on Saturday at 7 away.
   Game prediction: The outcome of the game is about as predictable as Pat Tobler taking his shirt off for it. The entire Bonner team is super-psyched for the game, as for the 12th year in a row “this is their year!” Prep wins 37-7.

SEPT. 23
CATHOLIC RED
SJ Prep 41, Roman 0
   I think it is safe to say that Roman Catholic’s home field, in Conshohocken, is the worst in local high school football. The visiting stands are made of feeble wood, which actually broke during the game, and are set below sea-level. The field looks more like a public drainage system, slanting violently downwards toward the home bench, leaving the home team practically looking up at their visitors.  This may seem like a coincidence, but don’t be fooled- this is symbolic. Roman Catholic looks upon the Prep as a younger brother would look up to his older brother, admiring his every move. Once in a while, however, the elder must show who is boss, and this is just what the Hawks did Friday night.
   Roman was holding its own about 45 seconds into the game, however, this is when the roof fell off. In nail-biting fashion the Prep ripped off 41 straight points. What should have been a joyous slaughtering, however, produced yet another key injury for the Hawks. On an early drive, star running back John Shaw looked as if he was about to break another long run. However, in classy fashion, John slowed down, giving the Cahillites (the what?) a chance to catch him. In Roman fashion Cory “Allergic Reaction” Jackson made a Roy Williams-esque horse-collar tackle on Shaw, leaving him writhing in pain and punching the ground harder than Lennox Lewis. The site of the injury forced Prep enthusiast Patrick “Newby” McIlvaine into tears, and LB Colin Wixted even vomited on the sidelines. He was carried of the field by some teammates, most notably kicker Tim “Ice Man” Edger (what doesn’t this kid do?). After a 20 minute dedication to Shaw, in which everyone sang the national anthem and did a Hail Mary, the game continued. Senior FB Ryan “Rhino” Bradley bucked in for a short score, celebrating with Ryan Malarick and Tim Lutz in a choreographed dance routine featuring a double-quad back flip from tackle Jim Dunn. On the other side of the ball, the defense had more intensity than a Mendez family pickup basketball game, punishing the Purple with an array of hits suitable for criminal charges. The Prep offense was back in full gear behind Sophomore RB Jamir “the Rocketeer” Livingston who must have drank Mike’s secret stuff, juking his way to 113 yards and 3 scores on the night. Jamir, who runs roughly a 3.67 forty yard dash, will have to carry the load the next few games with Shaw out. The Prep ended the half with a late drive led by Chris “the Kansas Kannon” Whitney who rifled a 13 yard TD pass to Tommy “Must Be a Running play” Elliot. On the ensuing possession, Roman QB Jackson fired up a long pass which was intercepted by Prep CB Andy Shalbrack. The interception by Shalbrack, who does mock interviews in front of the mirror, was probably the most pivotal play of the game, if not the season. Says Shalbrack, "This game was real important for me because it helped show the scouts that there's more to playing cornerback, than being really, really ridiculously good looking."
  The second half was much of the same: high powered offense and a shutdown defense. Livingston, as previously mentioned, was electric, and Junior RB Bradley “John Who?” Wright muscled his way in for a score of his own. In an interesting turn of events, guitarist Tom Cain (sp.) of the Prep band hurdled the pylon for a TD. The Prep could have even scored more, but they had their -- I kid you not -- fourth stringers in, including Sophomore QB J. Paul Fitzgerald and RB Mike “the MadMan” McCarthy. In another development, Prep CB Dave “the Glove” Clement threatened to “cut me like the fish I am” (direct quote) if he did not get as least as much press as Shalbrack. Dave has had a Champ Bailey effect on the games, covering the opponent’s top receivers so well that he forces the QB to throw/look elsewhere, thus giving him no chance for interceptions. The whole defense was superb, but it was hard not to do well against a team sporting a pair of 190 lb guards. Brian Brinkmann and Josh Howley also had interceptions in the game. On offense, Sr. Matt Leddy was named player of the game by the esteemed CN8 crew. Matt, who has an impeccable combination of the toughness and boyish good looks of his father, and the kind, supportive nature of his wonderful mother, has arguably been the Prep’s most consistent performer.
   On a positive note for Roman, NBA bad boy Eddie Griffin went there. Umm… Dominique Joseph, the best centerfielder in the Catholic League (sorry Bill), had a few plays which did not look terrible, and for the most part they all kept their jerseys clean, which looked nice. Oh, and “Rockin'” Rockeed McCarter had a sack.
Game Notes:
   Former Ted Silary writer Pete Crispino of “Crispy’s Corner” made an appearance at the game. Former Prep stars Mike Buscaglia and Pat Kaiser were also spotted on the Prep side. Self-proclaimed special teams Captain John “the Philly Phugitive” Fischer’s play was nothing short of special. Next up for the Hawks is Archbishop Ryan on Friday, 7 o’clock, @ Plymouth Whitemarsh.
Game Prediction: Prep wins 35-7.

SEPT. 17
NON-LEAGUE
Gilman (Md.) 22, SJ Prep 19 (OT)
“Setbacks pave the way to glory”
     As it turns out, the Prep’s football team is only mortal. The hardest preseason schedule in the nation finally caught up to the Hawks. After a pair of 28-14 victories against nationally ranked Neshaminy and St. Ignatius, St. Joe’s came out on the losing end of one of the greatest high school football games in recent memory against Gilman of Baltimore on Saturday night at Plymouth-Whitemarsh high school.
    The first half was a battle of stellar defensive units. Both St. Joe’s running back John Shaw and Gilman running back Sean “Fischer” Price found more room to run in their post-game showers than they did on the field. Neither managed to break the big runs that their fans had become accustomed to, and the lone score in the half was a field goal by the visiting Gilman. It was the second half, however, that sent chills down the spines of all in attendance.
    As the teams were coming out of their respective locker rooms to start the second half, the game was halted due to lightning, causing about an hour and half delay. During the delay, a good deal of the team went to a local Chili’s to cash in on their Triple Play combo, which was described as “fantastic.”
   After the 90-minute delay and a $213.56 Chili’s bill, the rain had cleared and the teams were ready to resume play on a muddy field. Early on in the 3rd quarter, Price, who was slippery before the rain, broke free for the game’s first touchdown. He was very difficult to tackle in the second half, as he spun and leaped with the grace of a ballerina (coincidence?). Meanwhile the Prep’s offense opened the half sputtering worse than John Fischer’s '86 Volvo. This proved to be costly as Gilman had just hit its stride and increased its lead to an imposing 16-0. A missed extra point provided just the shred of hope the Prep needed going into the fourth quarter, down by only two miracle scores.
   On the very first play of the final frame, Prep DB/QB Chris “the Kansas Kannon” Whitney showed glimpses of his cousin, Lito Shepperd, making a spectacular interception that got the Prep back on track. The offense adjusted to the run-stopping defense of Gilman, gearing into an air assault. Whitney began to look like Mike McGann (SJP days, certainly not Temple days), stringing together several good passes. Most were directed towards his primary receiving threat Bill “Not Tim” Edger. Edger caught 10 balls for 167 yards, bringing his season total to 17 catches for 324 yards. For those of you that did not pass calculus, that is over 100 yards a game. Edger’s ability to hold onto an 18-yard catch was about as shocking as Christina Aguleira’s wardrobe, as he was hit both high and low.  Whitney then scored on a 2 yard plunge, the fourth time this season, matching his total from Friday night’s mixer. TE Matt Leddy, who apparently recovered from his spaz attack against Ignatius, galloped across the middle to catch the 2 point conversion pass.
   After a turnover, the Prep got the ball back and staged an incredible drive.  Whitney worked the ball to all of his receivers, getting a crucial 4th down reception from Leddy (3 catches, 41 yards) that brought the ball to midfield. Whitney then took over with his legs, showing moves better than those of Jim Fee at Friday night’s mixer (I know Jim will give me an earful for that one.) The final scoring punch came on a crossing pattern that found Leddy in the end zone, making the score 16-14. Brooks once again dialed up Leddy’s number, and Whitney hit him on yet another crossing pattern. On the ensuing possession, Gilman showed its true character, and kneeldowned the ball, sending the game to OT, rather than going for the win.
     The overtime system is not dissimilar to the one the NCAA uses, with each team getting 4 downs to score from the 10 yard line. On the Prep’s four downs, they did not manage a touchdown, but on 4th down, Sophomore Kicker Tim “Not Bill” Edger booted a beautiful 39 field goal to put the Prep up 19-16. When asked why he wears sweatshirts in the summer, Tim responded, “'Cause, fool, I got ice in my veins." When Gilman took over, St. Joe’s stopped it cold on the first two downs, but on third down from 11 0 yards out, a swing pass to Price ended this glorious battle on a sour note. He flew over the left pylon and got into the end zone on a questionable call, which sent the bench players (who all contributed greatly to the win) streaming onto the field. The loss stung for the Prep players, fans, family, and coaches almost as much as a playoff loss, as their hopes of a perfect season were dashed. The preseason served its purpose as the Hawks head into Catholic League play (squawking?) violently.
Next up for Prep: Roman Catholic Friday @7 (may need extra ambulances)
Prediction: 31-7 Prep
Notes on the Game:
   Josh Howley had 15 tackles and was a pre-game ejection away from being Jeremiah Trotter.
   The Prep’s run defense very much missed the injured Charlie Noonan (tender knee), who would have helped greatly in stopping Price.
   The refs, obviously incensed about last week’s article (I want the $20 back), decided not to call a facemask incurred by Whitney on the final play of the half. While they claim to not have seen the actual grab, it’s usually a safe bet something’s going on when you see the back of his head through the mask. Just a tip.
   Gilman did have some of the most colorful names of any team I have ever seen. Among them Coach Biff “Back to the Future” Poggi, DL Barney “Rubble” Ehrmann, , TE Reggie Fugett “about it”, OL/DL Davey “Baloney” Jablonski, and QB Marco “Polo” Simmons.

SEPT. 10
NON-LEAGUE
SJ Prep 28, St. Ignatius (Ohio) 14
     If there were any questions as to whether the St. Joe’s Prep football team was the real deal, they were resoundingly answered at Plymouth-Whitemarsh High School on Saturday afternoon. The Hawks rumbled to a 28-14 victory against nationally heralded opponent St. Ignatius of Cleveland (previously #10). The Prep has now knocked of two “top 10” teams in a row, in games about as competitive as a Prep-La Salle brawl (You had to see that coming).
     On the game's opening drive the Prep marched the ball down the field, peppering the Wildcats' defense with both the run and pass in a well-balanced assault. The Kannon (Chris Whitney) then capped off the drive by dancing into the end zone, drawing comparisons to a young Kevin Stefanski. When the Wildcats got the ball back, the game looked like it was going to turn into a shoot out. Gargantuan QB Rudy Kirbus, who looked roughly 6’9, 290 (might want to check that) led a sophisticated passing attack mainly out of the shotgun (who do they think they are, the New York Jets?) His top receiving threat was WR Bobby Parris, who has garnered plenty of Division 1 interest. Parris caught the 1st touchdown pass of the game, a crossing pattern, to even up the score at 7, and give the St. Ignatius mother’s club something to hoot and holler about.
     After two drives, the game looked as if it might snowball out of control from a defensive standpoint; however Gil Brooks and his staff made sure it didn’t. Brooks stymied the Wildcats and Chuck Kyle’s run and gun offense by moving into a nickel package with three down linemen. This kept the linemen fresh and allowed the Hawks to bring in another CB. While the defensive line dominated Neshaminy, it was the coverage team of Dave Mendez, Whitney, Dave Clement, Andy Shalbrack, and Tim Lutz (who knew?) that set the tone the rest of the way. Clement and Shalbrack combined for 7 broken up passes. The Mat-Blat-Splat of the game was delivered by Mendez, blasting Iggy’s RB Nick Secue in the open field. After yet another TD run by the Kannon (yawn), and a defensive stand in its own territory, Prep showcased a brilliant drive with less that two minutes left in the quarter, capped off by a 30 yard TD catch by John “The Bullet” Shaw that SJP up, 21-7, going into the locker room. There was some “extracurricular activity” before the half ended however, firing up the Prep’s defense, most notably Matt Leddy. Watching Leddy’s jubilant reaction at the half, you would have thought he just saved money on his car insurance, as chants of "back to Ohio" flooded the stands. The story of the game was the Prep’s running game, namely Shaw. About the only thing able to bring Shaw down these days is a tranquilizer gun, as he ripped off 204 yards on 20 carries. That stat line is even more impressive considering Shaw had an 80-yarder called back due to a holding penalty. A highlight of the game was on a fumble recovery by Jim Dunn, who displayed some shifty moves, a la Jerome Bettis and plowed for 7 yards, sending the Crimson Crazies into a frenzy.
     The second half was marked by physical defensive play, as Ignatius’ intensity rose, the Hawks answered the call. The nickel back scheme once again paid off with an unlikely interception by stud wideout Tim “6-pack” Lutz, who draws more teenage girls than a Backstreet Boys concert. The score was at a stalemate until the Prep’s big offensive line opened up a hole for Shaw who broke off a 73 yard run, just for fun.
     That rounded out the scoring for St. Joe's, as Ignatius added a late touchdown, which must have boosted their egos considering by that point the entire stadium had turned their attention to the pee-wee soccer game going on at an adjacent field.
   Some game notes: Parris and Kirbus were both impressive and worthy of their Division I touting. Parris finished with 77 yards receiving on 5 catches, which would have been more like 100 if not for a questionable call by the field judge (keep the 20$). Also, Ignatius’ TE, the burly John Ryan (the living one) showed some impressive skills. On the defensive side of the ball, anyone who brought down Shaw was impressive, and the player who took him down the most was LB Rob McConville, who finished with 10 tackles and also added a sack. Once again FB Ryan Bradley and a determined offensive line led the way for Shaw. Leddy has proved to be a strong safety valve for the illusive Whitney, and once again Bill Edger led the receiving corps with 4 catches for 54 yards. Whitney would have been a perfect 10-for-10 if not for a dropped ball by a receiver who will remain unnamed (Edge- thanks for the CD). Charlie Noonan did not match his huge numbers from last game, but this may have been because he was double- and triple-teamed nearly the entire game, freeing up MLB Josh Howley, who led the team with 10 tackles. Colin Wixted put more pressure on Kirbus than an AP Greek exam, at one point nearly jumping over his head on a pass attempt. Tim Edger, who in fact is a different person from Bill, has been stellar in his special teams role, going a perfect 4-4 on the day.
Miscellaneous: The Wildcats' marching band was fabulous; however, the flag team choreography was sooo 1992.
Next up for the Prep is The Gilman School (MD) on Saturday at PW @7 o’clock.
Game Prediction: Either Gilman forfeits by Thursday or Prep takes it 27-7.

SEPT. 2
NON-LEAGUE
SJ Prep 28, Neshaminy 14
   Heartbreak Ridge lived true to form Friday night, as St. Joe's Prep
upended a highly touted Neshaminy team ranked #1 in the state and #9 in
the nation by several preseason polls. Though the Prep arrived late for
the game on the bus, they wasted little time in showing a robust
Redskins' squad that they were there to win. On the first play from
scrimmage, junior Quarterback Chris "The Kansas Kannon" Whitney cocked
back and hit WR Bill "Deuce" Edger with a 76-yard bomb, sending the Prep
student section into a mosh-pit resembling a '97 Limp Bizkit concert.
Later in the half, Whitney corkscrewed out of the grips of defenders a
la Randall Cunningham, eluding at least 17 tackles before finding John
"The Bullet" Shaw in the corner of the end zone to put the Prep up 14-0,
much to the chagrin of a deflated Redskins faithful.
   Meanwhile, St. Joe's defense had Neshaminy's number all night, allowing
only 25 yards of total offense in the first half. While all the talk
prior to the night's game had been focused on the size, experience, and
talent of Neshaminy's offensive line, it was the front four from Prep
who dominated the line of scrimmage. Penn State signee Tom McEowan, a
6'4, 275lb giant whose favorite food is WingZing pizza, and the rest of
the Redskins' offensive line seemed to wear down as the game progressed.
Charlie Noonan, Ryan Haber, Neil Doogan, and Matt Leddy continued to
dominate, even throughout the fourth quarter, which was doubly
impressive considering the four had a bench-pressing competition at
halftime. Quite frankly, no amount of writing could aptly describe
their impact on the game. The quartet spent most of the game in the
Redskins' backfield. And as well as they played still missed some chances
to sack Neshaminy's Junior Quarterback Andrew Flogel. Other standouts on
the defensive side of the ball for St. Joe's were Senior LB Josh Howley,
whose 13 tackles and a sack put him just an axe chop away from being
Jeremiah Trotter, and Senior S Dave Mendez, who was flying around like he
was trying to make a roster.
   The Redskins came out in the second half poised to get themselves back
into the game. Flogel orchestrated a 69-yard march down the field capped
off by a quarterback draw, which seemed to inspire the Langhorne natives,
led by a rowdy group of cheerleaders (girls, you have my number). That
score cut the deficit to what seemed like a manageable 7. There were
times that the diminutive Flogel (listed at 5'10'' 185 LBs, measurements
likely taken with his cleats on, in a wet winter coat) showed adequate
mobility and good zip on some of his passes, but his options were
hampered by the obviously superior Prep defense. St. Joe's then went on
an impressive drive which ended with Whitney scampering into the end
zone for a 4-yard score. The nail in the coffin came in the 3rd
quarter as Andy "Hollywood" Shalbrack made a two-handed interception on
a ball underthrown by Flogel. Shalbrack, who models in his free time,
plans to drop his new spring catalog sometime next month. Said
Shalbrack, "It's a little more edgy than my usual centerfolds, but the
girls and I just wanted to have fun with it."
   St. Joe's later capped their scoring in the game when Shaw found a hole
and darted into toward the goal line for a 30-yard score. Shaw who
spends more time in the end zone than at his home during the season,
nonchalantly flipped the ball to the referee. The Redskins, trying to
make things respectable, scored a meaningless touchdown on a nice 23
yard pass play, however, the Prep had only four defenders on the field.
For the Hawks, other players who impressed were offensive linemen Jim
McKenzie, Dave LaPera, and fullback Ryan Bradley. McKenzie, while he did
have two penalties, was a very dominant at the point of attack and
showed good mobility, making several downfield blocks. LaPera was solid
in his first Varsity start at center, especially since the spot was
still up for grabs just days before the game. Bradley had some
impressive blocks in which he blew up the other team's linebackers. St.
Joe's offensive line weighed in at a beefy average of 260 lbs, which is
especially impressive considering that the Hogs of the '80s Washington
Redskins were an average of just 20 lbs heavier. Some standout players
on the Redskins were LB Josh Auerback and WR Doug Rosnick. Auerback made
plenty of tackles and was what really kept Shaw from running wild.
Rosnick caught the final TD pass of the game on a pass from Flogel.
   Other notes on the game: there were Big 10 scouts in the crowd to scout
Noonan who already had many offers on the table. Noonan obviously
outplayed McEowen leaving many to question why Noonan has not received
as many glamorous offers. Whatever school does land Noonan will have
indeed found a gem…Once, when trapped in their own territory, Neshaminy
tried a fake punt which the Prep special teams devoured, and did not
allow a single yard…St. Joe's punter Tim Edger got off several good
punts, including an acrobatic one around an oncoming defender…Juniors
Brian Brinkman and Stephen/Steve Schell both had excellent games on special
teams…the Prep plays next at Plymouth-Whitemarsh on Saturday at 1 vs.
St. Ignatius of Cleveland, another top 10 team in the country…The game
should be tighter than Friday, and no question just as rowdy. Neshaminy
next plays on Friday night against Archbishop Ryan.